BabyJ

2007-08-22T19:04:00.001-04:00

We must have just gotten lucky with a growth spurt last week because last night was AWFUL! James went to sleep at 8:15ish and woke up at 12:30 and was up every 10-15 minutes until 2:30. He may have been teething so I gave him some Tylenol. That helped him to sleep until about 4 when he nursed. He was then up at 5:30 and up for the day about 7:30.

We ended up having a great day at the Aquarium with some mom friends. James slept on the way home from about 1:30-2:30 then nursed when we got home and slept for another 1 1/2 hours. We are in that transition stage where he is moving from 2 naps a day to 1. Today was a 1 nap day. It will be interesting to see how he does tonight with only 1 really long nap.

2007-08-20T14:14:00.000-04:00

After I posted the last post complaining about James lack of sleep it all turned around. It was like some switch in his head was turned on and suddenly he is sleeping and eating. Last Saturday he ate a ton of food at dinner and then slept from 8:30 - 5 a.m., nursed, and then went back to sleep until after 7. Sunday was about the same. Monday was not so good but only because he received some vaccines but the rest of the week was great. We went out of town this past Saturday and I was worried that he would be way off schedule but last night after we got home he slept from 8 - 3, nursed, and then slept until 6:45 when he nursed again went back to sleep and then woke up at 8. It was great! He is also eating tons of macaroni and cheese. A few months back he wouldn't eat it but now he eats the Annie's brand and loves it. It really just feels like he hit some milestone and was finally ready to sleep for 7-8 hours at a stretch.

2007-08-11T15:26:00.000-04:00

James had roseloa this week. It started last Sunday with a fever. By Monday it was up to 103 and stayed between 101 and 103 until Thursday when it dropped to 100 and then was gone by Friday. Roseola is characterized by a fever for 4-5 days followed by a rash. The rash started on Friday. The rash, thankfully, doesn't itch and his seems to be pretty mild compared to some other what some other moms have said their kids had. Several of Jame friends have had the same thing in the past 2 weeks so I am sure he got it from one of them or he got picked up the virus and passed it onto the other kid. I am glad he is feeling better!

James has 2 more molars coming in. These are on the bottom. I would expect them to break through in the next day or so. He has not been sleeping well so maybe the teething has been playing a part in that along with the sickness.

We have 2 big issues right now. The first is the sleeping. We did the Ferber method several months ago and it worked wonderfully. It was so much gentler than what I expected. It worked well until he got sick, we went out of town, or any reason to get off schedule. Now he is waking 4-5 times a night and the Ferber method no loger works. I only nurse at 4 a.m. and again at 6 a.m. but he still wakes up several times before the 4 a.m. feeding. We are very sleep deprived and frustrated.

An even bigger issue has become feeding. James still eats at least one jar of pureed food at dinner. I would love to have him completely on solids but then he would be getting so few calories that I don't now how he would survive. Breakfast is usually our easiest and most successful meal. I normally smash up a banana ad mix it with organic whole yogurt and add in some baby cereal. I will usually eat a good amount of this. Lunch varies but I try to do mainly finger foods (today was cheese and Natural hot dogs (no nitrates/ites)) and try to get him to eat some vegetables or fruits. Dinner is our wost meal. He eats the least amount and I feel really pressured to gt calories in him to make up for what he didn't get at lunch or in snacks. Part of the pressure is to fill up him belly so that he sleeps better. He will usually eat 2-3 bites of cheese or black beans but even these favorites are no longer making it to his stomach. Recently he has taken to chewing up his food then spitting it into his hand and throwing it as far as he can. I have gotten to where I fix 4-5 finger foods for him. He only eats a few bites before I feel like I need to get something in him so I give him a jar of either pureed organic meats or vegetables. He fights this initially, sometimes the entire meal, and it can become a battle of wills. I know you should not force your kid to eat but I am really afraid he is missing some nutrient (iron, zinc, calcium) and calories that will impair his health and if I don't get something substantial into him that he will become sick, underweight (he in the 12% now), or have some other negative effect. Recently I have left the table in tears because I am so conflicted as to how to proceed. The sleep deprivation is big factor in that. I am thinking about calling the pediatrician and asking for a referral to a pediatric dietitian. We had a referral from Dr. GI but I didn't go because he released us from his care and at the time I didn't think a dietitian would help but now I am rethinking that idea and may ask for the referral.

James is getting 2 vaccines on Monday but we will not see the pediatrician but I may ask the nurse what she thinks about the eating issues.

Have a great weekend.

2007-07-31T11:47:00.000-04:00

Fun things first...We took James to a park near our house yesterday evening. Even though it was 90 degrees outside we were near the water and there was an awesome steady breeze blowing so we never got very hot. James loved playing on the playground equipment. The swing used to be a favorite but not any more! The swing has been replaced with the slide. Previously when James would go down the slide we laid him down on his back and held onto him as he slid down. Yesterday started off that way but before we knew it James was sliding down sitting up, then sitting up with out our help and by the time we left he was walking up to the slide, sitting down, and then sliding down without our help. It was so neat to watch him learn and process and figure things out.

Today we saw the Immunologist/Allergist. I was afraid that the IgA and IgG deficiencies would be the primary focus of our visit but I was surprised when the doctor was more concerned with James' allergies. Remember, we had bloodworm done a couple of months ago that showed James was allergic mildly to both dogs and peanuts. The doctor said the blood tests are not very good and that we should do skin testing. We agreed only after he explained that a peanut allergy can continue to get worse with each exposure. So we tested and thanks goodness we did. James is severely allergic to peanuts...as in "don't-leave-your-house-without-the-epi-pen" allergic. The skin test is read by measuring the size of the welt that develops in the area where the suspected allergen has been placed on the skin. Anything over 5mm would be positive and James was at 15mm when they stopped that particular part of the test. We also learned that he is allergic to both egg whites and yolks. This puts a real damper on what the poor kid can eat but at at least we know. I do wonder how these allergies have affected his reflux and tummy issues. I have to give up all egg and peanut stuff too since he is still nursing. I thought about weaning but I feel like James is still getting some immunity from me through the breast milk and I don't want to take a chance my weaning him. I am afraid he will suddenly start getting sick more often.

In regard to both the IgG and IgA the doctor is going to retest both as well as his vaccine titers but he doesn't think that either deficiency is a problem especially since James has not been sick (knock on wood). The Immuno doc thinks he will outgrow both deficiencies. So, James will get his 1 year vaccines on Monday. Four weeks later we have blood pulled to check the titers, IgA, IgG, and then we go back to the immuno doc in early October for a follow up. All in all I feel pretty good about the visit today.

2007-07-29T15:23:00.000-04:00

I spent a lot of time tody trying to figure out how to use Photoshop Elements to cut a subject out of a photo. I just can't figure it out. This is all I could come up with after spending a long time working on it...

I cut the pictre of James out of another photo and copied it onto this background and then added the text. It's neat but I had hoped i would be easier to sue and more precise in the cutting.

2007-07-26T10:09:00.001-04:00

James and I traveled to N.C. to visit my cousin and her family. We had such a wonderful time. James slept most of the way gong up there. I was able to nurse during take off and he fell asleep. He woke up once and I nursed him again. He went back to sleep and only woke up as we approached the gate. He loved his cousins and all the attention.

He, thankfully, has not been sick. Even with the airplane trip he has remained healthy. Because he has been healthy it makes me feel a lot better about the IgA and IgG deficiencies. We go to see the Immunologist/Allergist next Tuesday. I really want him to confirm that the IgG is something James will outgrow and that the IgA is probably not a big deal. I am concerned about his vaccines and if he is getting immunity fr the different diseases or not. If his immune system is compromised his body may not be able to make the antibodies that it is suppose to with each vaccine. I am hoping the doctor will do a titer test to see whats taking and what is not. I also want to know if breast milk is continuing to provide him any immunity and if I should continue or not. I am really ready to wean. I think (hope) that it will help him to finally sleep through the night.

I attended a Mind/Body group for infertility this week. It was a reunion of sorts, from the Mind/Body group I attended several years ago. They are putting together a brochure and wanted some people to pose for pictures in the brochure. I was really hoping to see some of the girls from my group but I was the only one there from my group. There were 2 others from other groups. I was delighted to learn that one of the girls from my group just ha a baby. She quit responding to my emails when I had James so I just assumed it was too much for her. I am so very happy for her. Another girl form my group whom I remain in contact with is also pregnant with her 2nd. This was an unexpected but very welcome pregnancy. She got pregnant with the first on Clomid and then this one was a surprise. Now that I am a mom it makes it so much easier and more fun to be able to enjoy someone else's pregnancy!

2007-07-15T14:37:00.001-04:00

We had our appointment with Dr. GI on Friday. We got the blood results from 2 weeks ago. It was a mix of good and bad. James definitely does not have Celiac. The gene test they did confirmed that. Yeah! They also looked at all of his immunoglobulins and in addition to the low IgA he also has low IgG. We will see an immunologist to learn more about this but one source said that babies are born with low IgG and that it reaches it's max at 2-3 years old. So, we are hoping this just means that he is a little bit delayed in making the IgG but we have to wait and see what the Immunologist says. Dr. GI also said to keep weaning him off the Prevacid and the best news of all...we don't have to go back to see him anymore.

In other news we saw the movie Transformers and loved it. I really think it's a great movie. The director surprised me in a few places by giving the unexpected instead of the traditional. For example, you know how you watch a scary movie and when the girl is going into the house alone, it's dark, it's raining and there is an axe murderer on the lose and you want to scream "no, don't go in there" because you know exactly what will happen but she goes in anyway and gets killed? Well, Tansformers would have not had the girl go into the house. It was just a feel good movie that I enjoyed.

Finally for my 14th wedding anniversary I got a new laptop computer. It's super a super fancy Toshiba Satellite. It has a thumb scanner! Really cool. It's taking sometime to adjust to the new one but overall I like it. I was using XP on my Dell laptop and never had any problems but this one has Vista on it and Vista sucks! Really, it does. The file transfer time is outrageous. It took me days t get everything transferred over.

If I don;t update again this week it's because I am out of town. James and I are off to N.C. to see my cousin, her family and my grand father. Should be fun!

2007-07-09T15:24:00.000-04:00

Wow! Time sure is flying by. We have a very busy week this week. Today was Stroller Fit and then swim lessons. We planned to go to the beach this afternoon but by the time we got home from swim lessons, had lunch and James took his nap it would have been to late. Plus, tomorrow we will be gone all day. We are going to the Florida Aquarium in Tampa with my moms group. Wednesday is more swim lessons and possibly the beach. Thursday is a birthday celebration at a friends house and Friday is our visit to the GI to find out what the latest round of blood work showed. Then next week James and I fly to North Carolina to visit some family. July will be gone before we know it.

James is getting so big and learning so fast. He is walking and talking. He is very curious and loves to get into my kitchen cabinets. He brings me books and toys to play with and understands so much of what we say. His 8th tooth is coming in. I barely remember his gummy smile. We are still nursing 4-6 times a day and he doesn't show any signs of weaning. Things are really great. As awful as infertility hell was it has truly affected the kind of parent I am. I am certainly more patient than I think I would have been if we had not gone through 5 years of infertility. I appreciate everything. Even when he wakes up 4 times a night (like he did last night) or when he throws a temper tantrum because I won't let him drink more water from his daddy's water bottle (like he did at lunch today). Those things are still frustrating and aggravating but I know how close we came to not having him here with us and that puts it all into perspective for me. We could have walked away after the first IVF failed and said no more. Actually, I did say that. I was done. I didn't think I could take any more heart break. But, Jim pushed us and here we are today. Thankfully with our son.

Tomorrow is my 14th wedding anniversary. It's been an interesting and fun 14 years. We have been through so much but we are still here and still happy and in love. Things have changed for us over the past year with the addition to our family and some of that change hasn't been easy but I don't think either of us would change a thing!

2007-07-04T14:30:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

We are not doing much to celebrate the holiday. We thought about going to see some fireworks but James is frightened of loud noises so we thought we would wait until next year to introduce him to fourth of July celebrations. The neighborhood kids were setting off fireworks last night and the noise work James up and scared him. I ended up nursing him at 9 p.m. and 3 a.m. Jim was up with him at 2 a.m. but was able to just pat his back and get him back to sleep.

The weaning of the Prevacid is going well. He has not spit up since the other night but he is coughing more and seems to be fussy but that could be from so many different things...caffeine from the iced tee I started drinking, lack of sleep, teething, upset tummy (he had a nasty diaper yesterday that had him crying), boredom since we haven't been out and about as much as normal, etc.

My mom is coming today to babysit for us tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning for an MRI and then I see the neurologist. This is just my annual check of a benign brain tumor I have. It was treated with stereotactic radiosurgery several years ago and now I just get annual checks to make sure it doesn't grow any more. Since the appointment is in Tampa at 8 a.m. my mom will watch James until I get home some time after lunch.

Other random stuff...I am trying to work out more. I have started doing stroller fit and love it. I am disappointed I won't get to do it again until Monday. A friend said she didn't think it was much of a work out. I have to disagree. I am exhausted by the end of it and I consider myself to be in fairly good shape. With the stroller fit classes you can modify it to be whatever kind of workout you want...a sweaty heart pounding workout or a lazy walk kind of work out. It really makes me feel good!

have a safe and happy 4th of July!

2007-07-03T10:02:00.000-04:00

We had the rest of the blood work pulled today at the pediatrician's office. They also gave me instructions on how to do the stool collection for the stool study. The phlebotomist at the children's hospital neglected to give us instructions for part of the test and did not tell us anything for another part of the test. Thank goodness for the nurses at my pediatrician's office.

James has had a couple of rough nights and days. In an effort to get more calories into him we are trying to feed him high calorie items but they often contain a lot of sugar and I think the highs and lows caused by the excess sugar is making him really fussy. We are also weaning him off of the Prevacid and I can't help but wonder if that is a factor too. Last night he spit up after dinner. It smelled like really nasty stomach bile. We are only giving him the Prevacid at night and he had his dose with dinner but still spit up so I don't know what that tells us.

We are off to spend some time with an old friend I have not seen in awhile. She has three kids and James will get a lot of attention. It should be fun! Have a great day!

2007-06-30T12:22:00.001-04:00

The visit to the GI doctor, now known as Dr. GI, was pretty stressful. The doctor is okay although I don't feel like he listens very well. He seemed unsure of why were there but once he saw my list of questions (an entire page of questions regarding the IgA deficiency and allergy testing) he spent a long time with us but still left us wondering what is going with James.

Dr. GI ordered some more blood work and a stool study (sounds like fun, eh?). We were relieved to hear that there are some new blood tests that can be done to determine if someone has Celiac disease or not. So, at least for now we will get to avoid the dreaded biopsy. Dr. GI said that James has lost 3/4 of a pound since his last visit about 6 weeks ago. He agreed to do some additional blood work that I requested to look at James' other Ig's. Everybody has 5 of them and since James is deficient in the IgA we should look at the others. I did not know until Dr. GI told us that James' IgG, the most common of the 5 Ig's, was elevated but for the life of me I can not remember what he thought that might be due to, other than a fluke. He also had increased white blood cells, but that probably has more to do with the virus he was fighting at the time. The blood test also include a gene test. If it's conclusively negative it will confirm that James does NOT have Celiac. The stool test was also my request (per the pediatrician that I love, see below) to look for parasites, blood, and check to make sure he is absorbing nutrients from the food he eats. Dr. GI is also recommending that we see an Allergy/Immunologist and a dietitian. I think Allergist/Immunologist is a good idea but I really dread seeing a dietitian. James eats fairly well, at least this week he is, and I just don't know what a dietitian is going to have to offer.

After we left Dr. GI's office we walked over to the Children's hospital following the instructions given to us by one of the nurses. She told us the wrong place to go so we walked around for a good bit before finding the lab where James needed to be. The lab is part of the Children's Health Center which is a distant part of the hospital. Regardless, the only people they treat are children and you would hope they would be "kid" oriented. The phlebotomist had the personality of a cock roach. She was all business and barley spoke to James at all. We wanted to have the stool study done at the same time but James needed to produce something to study and after pulling the blood his diaper was still empty so we decided to wait around awhile. The phlebotomist made it clear that she would give us what we needed to collect the poop in but that she would not help us. She gave us the containers and some sticks and sent us out to the waiting room. We tried giving James some applesauce, goldfish and crackers but after a good 30 minutes he still had not produced. About this time the phelbotomist came out and told us that the girl who registered us forgot to include 2 of the labs and so if we wanted them done she would need to pull more blood. Not only that but she had forgotten to include another test for the stool study and that it was pointless for us to wait around since the stool study needed to be done over a 3 day period. At this point I was on the verge of tears. I was so frustrated with the visit with the GI and now with this lab that I was just at my breaking point.

I walked out of the lab and called my pediatrician. They have helped us before with getting blood work done so I was hoping they would help us again. As a side note, I love my pediatrician. I have never ever received such wonderful medical care. One of the nurses has gone to bat for us several times with the insurance company and with another doctors office. They have always gone above and beyond what I would expect from any doctor. So, I called them. Crying. The receptionist passed me right back to a nurse who after looking up the tests requested by Dr. GI said they could pull the blood and send the tests out for us. She also said they could send out the stool study for us so that we would not have to drive all the way back to the children's hospital, about 45 minutes away. Did I mention that I love my pediatrician? Incidentally, when I got home I checked out the containers and test material to collect the poop for the stool study and the part of the test that is to be done over a 3 day period does not have any instructions and indicated I need some kind of dye to make the test run.

Overall it was a long and frustrating day. We ended up spending so much time getting everything taken care if that by the time we were on our way home it was almost 5 o'clock so we sat in traffic for over an hour. Thankfully James slept the whole way home.

We go back to Dr. GI in 2 weeks to get the results of the new blood tests. I take James on Tuesday to the pediatrician to have the rest of his blood drawn for the 2 tests the other lab missed. In the meantime we get to give James whatever he wants to eat including ice cream, whole milk, cream to dip fruits in, and anything else fattening that we can get him to eat.

2007-06-28T10:21:00.001-04:00

James turned 1 a couple of weeks ago. It has been a wonderful and fascinating year. He started walking at 11 months and hasn't stopped since. He is funny and loves to make his father and I laugh.

He has had some health issues crop up recently. James has been taking Prevacid since he turned 9 months old for reflux. The Prevacid has made a huge difference in his reflux. However, every time we miss a dose and think, wow he doesn't need it anymore, he gets really really fussy and starts throwing up his food. So, it looks like we are sticking with the Prevacid for awhile.

Taking the Prevaicd means that we have to see a GI doctor. One was recommended to us by the pediatrician. The doctor is good but his office staff is horrible. In the 3 1/2 months James has been on the medication, prescribed by the GI doc, I have never, not once, been able to get the prescription filled through the GI doc. Each time I have needed a new script I have to call the pediatrician and get them to call in the Rx. I have other issues with the GI doc's staff but we have stuck with this one since we expected things to get better once James turned 1 year (most kids outgrow reflux at 1 year) and we wouldn't need the GI doc anymore. But things have taken an unpleasant turn.

James is not gaining any weight. He has even lost a few ounces here or there. He poops for 3-6 times each and every day and there is nothing solid in his poop. This could just be that he has a high metabolism and it's just who he is or it could be something more sinister like Celiac Disease. In order to rule out the Celiac disease the GI doc wanted a bunch of blood work done. At first we refused because James has been so healthy, outside of the reflux, and we just didn't think it was necessary. But then he lost weight and started having weird allergic reactions to things he had previously been exposed to. The picture is what happened when I gave hims scrambled eggs. It was taken about 10 minutes after I gave him Benedryl. Because of the allergy stuff the ped wanted to do allergy testing and since we were going to pull blood anyway I asked if we could do the tests the GI doc wanted done at the same time. The ped (whom I adore) agreed and one of the nurses from their office pulled the blood for us. Since there was so much blood needed for both the allergy testing and for the tests the GI doc wanted we had to go in twice, one week apart, to have the blood pulled.

The first round of blood work showed that James is mildly allergic to dog dander and peanuts. Nothing showed up about eggs. Go figure! The portion of blood work ordered by the GI doc showed that James has something called a IgA Deficiency. IgA is the immunoglobulin (1 of 5) that protects all the mucus membranes in the body from infection. It leaves James susceptible to infections like the flu, upper respiratory infections, UTIs, etc. It also means that when he gets sick he will have to be antibiotics longer.

The real problem though is that since he is deficient in IgA that the Celiac panel part of the blood work is inconclusive since you have to have normal levels of IgA in order to run the test. The only way to determine if James has Celiac is to do a biopsy. CRAP! That means another outpatient surgery.

We are meeting with the GI doc tomorrow to hear what he has to say about all of this and to find out what the other blood work showed. If you have any experience with IgA deficiency I would love to hear from you. There's a lot more to all this but James is about to wake up from his nap. I will update once we know more.

2007-02-20T00:18:00.000-05:00

Last Friday I had to take James to the ER by ambulance. It was awful. Early in the afternoon I tried to nurse him. He was being fussy and it was nap time. As soon as I laid him in the cradle position to nurse he started gagging. I immediately picked him up but he kept gagging and eventually threw up. Not a lot but some. He was a little fussy but I really thought it was because he was tired and hungry. I tried to nurse him again but the same thing happened. I carried him into the nursery and rocked him for few minutes and he went right to sleep. He didn't sleep for long and he was really fussy when he woke up. I figured he must still be hungry so I tried to nurse him again but this time he gagged and vomited and it really stunk. After throwing up he kept gagging and moving his mouth like he was playing with something between his teeth.

It finally dawned on me that there was something in his mouth. I tried to look and see but it seemed to be in the back of his throat. I called the pediatrician and was told to take him to the ER. So, I called Jim at work and told him what was going on. I got James dressed and grabbed my stuff but when I put James in the car seat the gagging and vomiting resumed. There was no way I could drive with him in that reclined position. I was terrified he would have suffocated on the way to the hospital. If I kept him in an upright position he seemed to be okay but as soon as he was reclined in any way the gagging started. So, I had to call 911.

Two ambulances showed up within a few minutes. The paramedics checked him out and said he was stable enough that we could take him all the way to the hospital where he has his eye surgery a few weeks ago. James had one more gagging episode in the ambulance.

When we arrived at the hospital he was checked out and then we were told to wait. While we were waiting I noticed that James was chewing on something. The gagging had stopped but he clearly had something in his mouth. I stuck my finger inside his cheek and felt something. I told the nurse. She pulled on a pair of gloves and stuck her finger in there. She pulled out a piece of wood. It was about 1 inch long and maybe 5 mm in width. It looked like a huge splinter.

The doctor thinks that James swallowed it and it got stuck between his stomach and esophagus. All of the gagging and vomiting eventually moved it into his mouth and into his cheek. They still did an X-ray to make sure that he hadn't swallowed anymore of the wood. He was given the all clear and we made our way home.

The weirdest part is that we have no idea where it came from. We don't have anything like that in our home. Then today we found another piece just like the one that James swallowed on our living room floor. We have no idea where these pieces of wood are coming from. Our only guess is that they were carried in to the house on our shoes.

2007-02-14T08:38:00.000-05:00

We made a little bit of head way in the sleep department but then it all went to hell. Last night James was up every hour, on the hour. It was awful. To make matters worse I couldn't sleep at all during the single two hour stretch he slept from 12-2 a.m. After he woke up at 2 he was up at 3, 4, 5, and then up for the day at 6. I think he is going through a developmental thing. I found him standing at the sofa and in his crib yesterday so he is in the process of mastering that ability. He is also right on the verge of crawling. He has been army crawling for awhile now but he is so close to moving around on his knees and hands.

Thanks to J. for the comment about her sleep experience. Unfortunately James is nursed back to sleep with every waking. We have tried to stop this but it only made matters worse. Thank you for sharing your story.

Today is Valentines Day and I could really care less. I think sleep deprivation does that to you. James and I are going to a Valentines Day party with some other moms and babies. It should be fun if I can stay awake.

2007-02-07T15:03:00.000-05:00

I have been keeping a log of James sleeping, or lack there of! Here is what yesterday (Tuesday) into Wednesday night looked like:

Tuesday
8:00 a.m. Up for the day
11:12-1:41 p.m. Nap (very unusual to take this long of a nap but the night before was awful so I assume he was making up time)
4:45-5:30 Nap
9:00 To bed via nursing and rocking
10:48-10:58 Awake, Jim patted his back to get him back to sleep

Wednesday
1:20-1:50 a.m. Nursed, rocked and then fell asleep on his own in the crib
4-4:50 a.m. Nursed, rocked, pat back until he fell back asleep
6:45-7:00 Nursed, Rocked
8:10 up for the day
11 a.m. -12 p.m. Nap via nursing
and he just went down for his second nap of the day at 3:15. He will probably on sleep for 45 minutes.

From the time he went to bed last night at 9 p.m. until 8 a.m. this morning he was up at least every 2 hours for a total of 4 times. This is less than the 5-6 times he is normally awake but he was also up for longer periods each time last night. We are very frustrated and don't know what to do!

2007-02-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

Sleep, or the lack there of is dominating my life these days. James is 8 months old tomorrow and has not had a decent nights sleep since before Thanksgiving and neither have I. We do the dinner-bath-book routine every night starting at 6 p.m. I nurse him to sleep (something I love) usually about 7:00. He goes to sleep easily and usually with only 10-15 minutes of nursing. I put him in his crib and leave his nursery. He wakes up 45 minutes later and either Jim will pat his back to get him back to sleep or I will nurse him. We were trying to get away from the nursing thinking that we could get him to sleep through this time if I he didn't nurse but that only lasted a few days and now he wakes up at the 45 minute mark every single night. I use the term wake up generally. He never fully awakens unless we don't tend to him. Then his moaning and groaning escalates to all out screaming and it takes a 30 minutes or more to get him calmed down.

After that first waking he may go 2-3 hours before he wakes again. It is usually about 11 or midnight when this happens and most of the time I will nurse him. Occasionally he may give me a 4 hour window instead of the 2-3 but that does not occur more than once every 2 weeks or so. From this point on James is up every 2 hours. Sometimes it's only 1 1/2 hours but never longer than 2. So I am up and down with him all night long. It is wearing me out.

Last night and the night before were even worse. He did well early in the night but at 2 a.m. he was wide awake, but tired. I nursed him and rocked him until he fell asleep but then he was up every 15-20 minutes until 4 a.m. and every hour until 7 a.m. when he was up for the day.

We have tried doing the "pick up put down method" discussed in either the Baby Whisperer or The No Cry Sleep Solution but it made no difference. In addition to the books I have also read Dr. Sears Sleep Book, The Brazelton Method, and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. We have tried giving him formula with dinner. We have tried co-sleeping. I feel like we have tried everything but nothing has worked and the only choices left are to continue doing what we are doing and just suffer through knowing he will outgrow it or do cry it out (CIO). I really really don't want to do CIO. The idea of my son crying and me not responding is just to heart wrenching. I worry about the long term effects of that on his emotional well being and my relationship with him. On the other hand I really need some regular sleep. When I am sleep deprived I am not the mother I want to be. My patience are worn out and I just don't have the energy to interact with James like I want to. Sleep deprivation also leave me angry at my husband and frustrated. I feel like I am the one who is suffering and that I am all alone but this in not the reality of the situation.

I know my other mom friends are tired (ironic, no?) of hearing me talk about my lack of sleep. It is really dominating my life right now and I don't know what to do to change things. I feel like people are avoiding me because I am so obsessed with sleep right now and I can't seem to shut myself up! UGH!

The good news is James took a 2 1/2 nap yesterday and is still asleep now, 1 1/2 hours after I put him down for his morning nap. That gives me a glimmer of hope that things are changing since he never naps for more than 45 minutes.

2007-01-31T07:44:00.000-05:00

James had his eye surgery on Monday. The surgery, lacrimal duct probing and irrigation, went as expected. It was a really long day for James, DH and myself. We had to be at the hospital at 11:00 a.m. which was much better than the early morning times I know others were assigned. I was really worried about James having to go an extended time without eating. I have never ever refused to nurse him when I think he is hungry and I was worried about what effect refusing him food combined with the stress of the surgery would have on my little guy. Thankfully I was able to nurse him until 9:00 and give him pedialyte until 10:00 so he was never really starving. There was a lot of excitement, people to watch, and new places to take in that kept him very distracted at the hospital. James really likes to be out and about and is rarely fussy when we are in new places. He just sits back and takes it all in. So, one of my big worries for surgery day turned out to be nothing to worry about.

My only complaint about the hospital, a children's hospital, was how busy they were and how we never saw the same person twice. We arrived right on time (even after getting stuck in traffic just a mile or two from home thanks to an awful traffic accident) and went right to the surgery check in area. There we a lot of families there but we were called back quickly and completed all of the paper work. We then returned to the waiting area where after about 15 minutes we were called again. This time a nurse took us back to an area where the kids are checked out by a nurse and nurse practitioner before surgery. The nurse that took us back to this area checked James blood pressure and temperature. Then the nurse practitioner came in and asked us a ton of questions. She then sent us to another waiting area where we never even sat down.

We changed James into his little hospital gown and when we were done they were ready for us in the pre-surgical area. Here another nurse came and asked the same questions all over again (they are nothing if not thorough) and then the anesthesiologist came in. He asked us many of the same questions AGAIN and explained the surgery to us. We had already met with the doc performing the surgery in Friday so I knew we would not be meeting with him until after the surgery. Next, the anesthesiologist assistant came and talked to us. James was a delight to everyone. He played with some toys and made himself known by practicing his new found ability to make loud noises. Finally it was time. We walked James out into the hallway where we turned him over to a nurse who took him back to the surgical suite.

Jim and I returned to the "short stay" area to wait for news. The short stay area was very very crowded. There were rooms but since James surgery was a short one, 15 minutes, so we were told to wait in the hallway. This got my anxiety way up there. I didn't want to try and nurse him after the surgery in the hallway in front a bunch of strangers but there was nothing I could do.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the doctor came out and told us everything went as expected. He said both sides were plugged and he had been able to open each one. Right after the doctor left a nurse took us to one of the short stay rooms. This was a huge relief in regard to the nursing issue. However, it was not a private room. There was another couple in there with their infant child. They were Mexican and did not speak any English. Their daughter was awake but was evidently very sick. Every breath she took sounded like a fog horn in her chest. Maybe she was asthmatic. I don't know but she was very cute. Finally another nurse (remember we never saw the same nurse twice) came in and told us that James was on his way to us. He was awake and mad and hungry and wanted to nurse and no one there could help him except me. Before they brought him in she set up a screen that separated the room and gave us some privacy. She also had the other couple switch chairs and moved their rolling tray thing to their side of the room. They had apparently been there awhile and had the room all to themselves. I am sure they were disappointed to see us come in.

Once the room was set up James came to us. He was crying and very disoriented. I was really bothered to see that his tears had blood in them. I am not easily grossed out but I this really bothered me. I put him right to the boob but he would only suck once or twice then pulled off. This went on for what felt like a long time. After awhile I gave up and tried to comfort him by walking him. Jim and I passed him between us. While this was going on the other baby in the room was discharged and that family left so we had the room to ourselves.

James was inconsolable. The nurse asked us if we thought he was in pain and we said yes. She said she would track down the doctor (who had told us he would be in the hospital for awhile but he had left) to see if James could get some Motrin or Tylenol. Finally while I was holding him he threw up...all over me. When I looked down I realized there was blood in it. I pulled open the door and told the nurse what had happened. She came right in and said that since the blood was brown it was due to drainage from the surgery and was nothing to be concerned about. James immediately calmed down and awhile later, after I removed the vomit and blood stained sweater, he nursed and then went to sleep. He did not need the Motrin nor Tylenol after all. He just had a really upset stomach.

He slept in my arms until we were discharged. He gave the nurses a smile as we left then slept the whole way home. He was playful and active that afternoon at home. I gave him some Tylenol that night and he slept a little better than he has been lately. The next day his eye was coated in blood colored goo. I was really worried but we saw the doctor that morning and he said things looked good. He was evasive when I asked about the duct staying open. He just said we would have to watch it closely. Today, Wednesday, his eye looks a lot better but it is not draining everything. Every so often a tear will run down his cheek and I noticed just a spot of eye goo in the corner of his eye. I am hoping that his eye will continue to improve.

Here is a picture taken the day of his surgery after we returned home. You can see a lot of the dried blood around his eye. There is also a red line, maybe a scratch the runs down his cheek, near his nose. I don't know where it came from. The outer corner of his eye still has a sore there but things are definitely healing.

2007-01-24T12:53:00.000-05:00

James got a new bathtub. He loves it. It is shaped like a duck and even quacks when you squeeze the bill. He loves splashing a playing in the water.

James is having surgery to open the eye duct in his left eye on Jan. 29th. The duct has been plugged since he was born. Normally doctors would wait until he was 1 year old to give the duct a chance to open on its own, but in James' case there is infection in his eye. It is gooey and sticky all the time so the opthamologist wants to open it now, when James is 7 1/2 months old.

We are having major sleeping issues. James is up every 2 hours (sometimes less) all night long. I ahve read every book I can get my hands on but nothing has made any difference. I am very opposed to doing cry it out but we are left without any other choices. I have got to get some sleep. We are tenatively planning doing CIO the weekend after his eye surgery. I am already dreading it! UGH!

2007-01-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

Kaliee Wells is a little girl who is fighting for her life. Her last chance at survival is here. Please visit her web site and send up a prayer for her, her family, and the donor.

Kaliee Wells

2006-12-21T20:04:00.000-05:00

James is six months old! I can't believe it. He is wonderful and happy and makes me laugh about a billion times each day. We just recently started solids and things are going fairly well. He does not like rice cereal but tolerates oatmeal. Peas were okay at first and fun to play with but carrots rock his little world!

Here he is eating peas

Here he is eating oatmeal. He was also eating some rice puffs.

Oh yeah, and he has cut his first tooth!

2006-11-19T20:00:00.000-05:00

I found a great post from Mom101 about judgmental moms.

SanctiMommy

2006-11-15T07:44:00.000-05:00

What babies really think!

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2006-10-19T11:29:00.000-04:00

How did our view of beauty get so distorted?

Click here to see how it hapened.

2006-10-19T07:47:00.000-04:00

I was looking through my own baby book trying to figure out when I got my first tooth (6 months old) because a friend planted an idea in my head about heredity influencing when your child’s first tooth comes in and I came across “A Guide to…Infant Care” that my mother received in the hospital almost 36 years ago after she had me. It was an entertaining read.

Page 1 is all about how to prepare formula. Formula prep and feeding gets the first 5 pages but breastfeeding only gets one and isn’t even discussed until page 6. As a side note my mother’s breasts were bound after she gave birth to prevent her milk from coming in. So it’s not surprising what the book ahs to say about breastfeeding. The book instructs the mother to clean her nipples with cool water before each feeding and to use sunlight to dry them after feeding. It also states “the nursing mother’s diet is relatively unimportant as far as the baby is concerned…” and “Most medications taken by the mother have little or no effect on the baby.” My favorite is “Smoking by the mother will not interfere with breast feeding. She should not smoke, however, while the baby nurses.” And of course if you can smoke you can drink alcohol too, in moderation. I guess you shouldn't smoke while nursing so that you ahve one hand to hhold your beer.

The book also suggests “offer cool water two to three times a day between feedings.” SCARY!

In discussing solids it says “Occasionally a baby seems to need solid foods as early as three weeks.” “One need not feel compelled to rush into giving solids. However, by the end of two months, the introduction should have been made, because after four to five months, solid foods assume more importance then milk in providing the infant with essential elements.”

In regard to sleeping “It is advisable to put the baby in a crib as soon as possible.” “…by the time he is four to six weeks old, he should be placed in his own room, since he disturbs his parents’ rest.” No kidding, it really says that and it gets worse. “The baby should not under any circumstances be allowed to sleep in the bed with his parents.”

If your baby is crying but there is no obvious cause “he is better off by himself” and you should “leave him alone when he is sleepy or cross.”

WOW! how the times have changed. I wonder what it will be like for our kids.

2006-09-17T15:15:00.000-04:00

James has started sleeping through the night. I am amazed and really never expected it to happen. Three nights ago we got a 9 hour stretch out of him and then it repeated the next night. Last night he was asleep a little after 8 and slept until 7:30 this morning. I am sure that since I spoke of this fantastic thing it will never ever happen again! Just because he sleeps that long doesn't mean I do. My boobies still fill up, leak and hurt but I know that the milk supply will adjust with time.

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So much for that! He woke up at 1:30 and at 5:30 last ngiht and was up for the day at 7:30. Oh well. I guess I should be thankful that we got 3 days worth of longer sleep.

2006-09-16T08:50:00.000-04:00

On September 15, 2005 I had my retrieval for my second IVF. The doc got 15 eggs. Out of the 15 retrieved, 14 were mature. Out of those 14, 10 fertilized, but 1 was an abnormal fertilization. On Sept. 16 we had 9 embryos growing and I would begin the first of 32 days worth of progesterone shots into my tush. On Sept. 18 the 3 surviving embryos were transferred into my uterus and one of those would become my son. Truly amazing to think of where this journey has taken us. Sometimes to the depths of hell. Now as I sit here with 3 month old James playing on his play mat at my feet I am so very very thankful. Not for the journey. The journey was hard and painful in ways nothing else in my life has been. But, if it had not been for this particular journey then I might not have him. For that I am thankful.

2006-09-09T15:06:00.000-04:00

Why I will NEVER buy Huggies again...

On Sept. 3rd my husband and I purchased a case of Huggies Baby Shaped Fit size 2 diapers from Sam's Club. We paid $34.88 for a case of 228 diapers. We began using them almost immediately after using what remained of a previous case of Huggies and Pampers Swaddlers. Earlier this week I noticed that James kept having blowouts that occurred on the same side and when I looked at the diaper it did not appear that the poop had come over the top nor through the leg opening. I finally figured out today what was going on. All of the Huggies have holes along the back left leg seam and the poop and pee were running out through the holes. I have changed more sheets, outfits (his and mine) this week then in the 3 months since James was born. I went through several of the packages within the case of diapers and at least 90% of them had holes in exaclty the same location.

We are going to try to take the case back to Sam's. We will see what happens.

Here are some pictures. I used red food cloring in water to make it show up better.

2006-08-18T10:26:00.000-04:00

Things are going wonderfully! James is still breastfeeding exclusively and I love it. I also love being home with him all day. It will kill me to go back to work in November but I know it is what's best for our family and we already have a great day care picked out.

2006-08-07T17:13:00.000-04:00

In honor of this I give you this...

2006-06-25T10:44:00.000-04:00

Here is a short video of James taken just before he got hsi first bath.

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Video Sharing

2006-06-18T10:03:00.000-04:00

James is 11 days old and doing wonderfully. He sleeps for 2-4 hours at a stretch and is nursing like a champ. We had our first ped appointment last Monday and he weighed 7lbs 2 oz but when we returned on Friday he had gained 10 oz...That's a gain of 2-3 oz a day. The ped said that he is doing great except for a plugged tear duct in his left eye. He had his first sponge bath on Thursday and seemed to really like it. He also likes riding in the car. His umbilical cord fell off last night while I was changing his diaper and it looks like he will be an "inny". Today is Father's Day and I have a small gift and card for Dad.

Here is a picture of James in his Amby bed which he seems to like.

2006-06-10T20:48:00.000-04:00

Here is a picture of little James.

2006-06-10T11:32:00.000-04:00

HE's HERE!!! Baby James arrived on Wednesday 6-7-06 at 8:41 p.m. My water broke at 8:30 a.m. Everything went perfectly. I could not have asked for a more perfect birth. He's perfect. Pictures to follow.

2006-06-07T03:15:00.000-04:00

Did you know there is nothing on TV at 3:00 a.m.? Unless you count the endless commercials for "G*irls G*one W*ild" that seem to be on every single channel. ICK!

2006-06-06T19:50:00.000-04:00

The ultrasound went well this morning. The bean is long with a lot of hair. He practiced his breathing for us and the amniotic fluid was good. I feel like I am still leaking amniotic fluid but the OB checked me again and all the tests were negative for the fluid. I am not having any contractions and still only 1cm dilated. I have one more OB visit before the induction on Monday. I hope he comes before then.

2006-06-05T17:04:00.000-04:00

Today's OB appointment showed that we are still dilated to a whopping 1cm, but we are 50% effaced (it was 30% last week), and the bean is at a -2 station. I have another ultrasound on Tuesday and a final OB appointment on Friday, with the doctor who will do the induction. One way or another, this time next week the bean will be here or well on his way.

2006-06-05T07:01:00.000-04:00

Last Wednesday as I was on my way to my weekly ultrasound I received a phone call from Jim saying that some vandals had aparently gotten into his office the night before. What he was referring to were the baby shower decorations and gifts that his co-workers had decorated his office with. I stopped by after my appointment and was in awe of what had been done. There were balloons and paper decorations covering every inch of his office. There were gifts hanging from the ceiling and then tons of wrapped ones near his desk. I was able to stay and watch him open all the gifts and meet all of these very generous people. One of the decorations was a "big screen TV" made out of his white board, behind his desk. When Jim took the Boot Camp for New Dads class a couple of months ago he learned that there had been a study done that said that dads who watch football on big screen TV's with their sons develop better bonds and therefore everyone needs a big screen TV. Apparently Jim told several people at work about this "study" so when decorating the office his friends gave him a big screen TV complete with BIG speakers for the surround sound effect. The TV came complete with picures of our favorite college football team. Here are some pictures.

2006-06-05T05:54:00.000-04:00

Typical first time mom...We went to the hospital last night about 6:30. On Saturday I felt like I was leaking fluid and then again yesterday afternoon I felt the same thing. I had been crampy and uncomfortable all day and feeling some, irregular contractions. I called the OB on call and she met us at the hospital. They sent us home within just a couple of hours. The doctor and the nurses were really nice and did not make me feel stupid. Actually, I walked out of there feeling much better knowing that BabyJ was okay and having some idea of what was going on. We were disappointed to learn that I am STILL only 1 cm dilated. I didn't think to ask about effacement. The induction is set for Monday June 12th if the bean does not come on his own. We will check in to the hospital on June 11th with the actual induction set for June 12th. With things still sealed up tightly I think the induction is becoming more of a reality. The really frustrating part is all the walking J and I have been doing trying to get things going and knowing that it has had no effect! We ahve gone to the mall for the past 3 days and wlaked and walked and walked. UGH!

Our due date is Thursday, June 8th. I can't believe we are so close!

2006-06-04T08:46:00.000-04:00

I think I am starting early labor. I am getting some sharp pains and woke up at 2 a.m. with some major back pain. I went back to sleep about 5 a.m. but didn't sleep long. Things seem quite right now so maybe it was nothing.

2006-06-02T05:15:00.000-04:00

Here is one more video that shows where BabyJ will sleep for the first few weeks (we hope).

Click here

2006-06-01T16:37:00.000-04:00

More nursery

2006-06-01T15:36:00.000-04:00

Nursery, so far

2006-02-18T10:45:00.000-05:00

Here is BabyJ at 20 weeks.